Into December

Well let's see... What all have we done over the last few weeks?!? Soooo much!!!

The girls got to meet their Gramps and Gramms over Thanksgiving. We all had such a great time hanging out with them. We took a day trip to Long Beach and went aboard the Queen Mary. This was a great adventure for all of us, even M&S loved it.

We even did a haunted tour. I found it pretty interesting, but the girls were pretty scared. After our ship adventure, we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific. We didn't stay too long as we were all quite tired from the Queen Mary. But we did get to pet baby sharks! 

The girls have also started gymnastics once a week and they love it. It's so nice having them in an indoor place, learning new things and being active. They look forward to it every Tuesday after school. 

Tutoring also has started. We are hoping this will improve their grades along with social skills and listening to other adults. 

Thanksgiving dinner was great! I cooked my heart out for my family, dad and stepmom, and my best bud Stephanie and her boy friend Joe. We had turkey and ham and all the fixings. I also braved the Pre-Black Friday event at Walmart with Stephy and Joe. Overall, it wasn't that bad. We waited in the lines for a couple hours, got out items, and got out.  

Now we are getting ready for birthdays and Christmas! Out first with the girls!! It's very exciting for us and they are so excited about seeing all of our decorations and all the presents under the tree. 

Happy Holidays!

Almost 3 Months!

Almost 3 months the girls have been living with us. As I look back, so much has happened and we have all grown so much.
We survived our first Halloween together! M was dressed as the Little Mermaid and S was a pink Batgirl. We tried a little trick or treating in our neighborhood, which was unsuccessful, and then went to a Harvest Party at the church we started attending. The girls had a really good time playing games and getting candy. It was safer than going door to door and being out in the cold that evening.

The girls really enjoy the church we started attending on Sundays. It is a very contemporary church and the girls attend the children's studies at 11am. They both go to their different classrooms and then meet in the chapel for worship and then back to their classes. It gives them time apart and time to meet new friends. It also gives Sean and I time to worship as well.

The girls and I went to the LA Zoo last Monday (Sean had to leave for 4 days for work). It was a beautiful sunny day and we had a great time. It was so nice letting them run around without having to be so close. They did really well with directions and having the stamina to keep walking over all the hills. The last part of the zoo we ventured into the petting zoo area. The girls were able to pet and brush the goats they had. They really enjoyed it. After we left, they were both so thankful for the whole experience. It was nice to hear the "Thank You MOM's!" since we have been really working on saying thank you over the past couple months.

Overall the girls are doing so well. We still have our tantrums, which are down significantly from when they were first placed with us. Some of the times the mornings are rough, but each day I am figuring out how to make them better. I wake them up a bit earlier so they have time to stay in their beds to wake up, and then I call them a silly name. This tends to put them in a good mood. I have started to remind them the night before that I hope we have a good morning and most of the time they agree and tell me they will. When I see that it's not going so well, I have learned to take a step back, let them figure it out on their own without me 'complaining' or 'begging' for them to hurry up and get ready. They are working more on calming themselves down with deep breaths.

School seems to be going better. Both of the girls are trying harder with their reading and math when before they would just shut down. Now we complete our homework with little or no issues. S was on an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) at her previous school. Her new school has reviewed her plan and does not see a need to for it. M was on a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) and the school also does not see a need for it. This is a wonderful thing!! We are still working on getting the girls into therapy during the school day, and this should be happening soon. We do see some behavior issues that we would like help with, socialization, acting appropriately with peers, and handling stress and the tantrums.

It's been awhile since I last posted. Sean and I are doing great and getting more comfortable being parents. We are blending quite nicely and it's hard to believe that is has only been 3 months. We are half way to finalizing the adoption. This week the girls get to meet their Gramps and Gramms! My dad and step-mom are flying in from Illinois for Thanksgiving. The girls are really excited and so am I! We also invited Stephy and Joe over for the feast as well. The girls do not have school all next week, so we hope to have plenty of time to spend together as a family.

Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy the time you have with your family too!

Adventures in a New Land

Last weekend, we went on an adventure to a new land. Sean had told me about a "musical road" where there are treads on the asphalt that when you drive on it it plays a tune. While looking where it was located online, I found a nearby park with a pond. So we journeyed out to the new land. 

The musical road was pretty neat. We drove over it a couple times before the girls were bored of it. We found the beautiful Apollo park, the only large grouping of trees your eyes could see across the dry desert. It was a good size park with a large pond full of ducks and geese. The park had many play areas that the girls could trample all over. The walking paths were nice as well too. The girls found the different ducks and geese interesting to look at. We even looked up a few of their names online. 

We have had a good week so far at school and yesterday I surprised the girls with cookie decorating. I made the cookies during the day and after homework the girls sat at the counter and decorated their six sugar cookies. So now we have sugar cookies topped with more sugar! Yay!

Teacher parent conferences were this morning. Sean and I met with both girls teachers. The girls are getting a lot better in school but they still need to keep at it. 

Now we are home for the rest of the day. The girls just finished a movie filmed in Albuquerque called "Saige Paints the Sky". Now we are going to do some reading and get ready for lunch. 

Here's a peek at my backyard today:

The Second...

Today, like all days, I picked up the lovelies from school. They are both having really good days at school now with no issues. S came running out with a plastic tooth in her hand and telling me that she lost her tooth. She caught me off guard and then she smiled and I could see that her other loose tooth came out. She then proceeded to tell me that she lost the tooth. Somehow it fell out of the little plastic tooth holder the school nurse gave her. She was a little worried that the tooth fairy would not come because she did not have the tooth. I told her that she can leave the tooth fairy a note and hopefully she will come and leave her something nice. 

Now I am blogging from our second trip to the library. So far it's going better than the first trip. They are a little more prepared for what to expect and they are taking their time looking for books and going through the racks. I read a couple books so it would help them calm down and have a clearer mindset on what books they should pick. They seem to be enjoying their time here. 

Next, we plan on walking through the farmers market and then home for dinner. Have a good night! 

Moving Right Along

Each day, we are getting more and more into a routine. M&S are doing really well with a schedule and with doing the same thing each day. Keeping it simple is key! Which fits in well with us, as we are pretty simple. The same thing each morning and afternoon, and then throw in some fun things on the weekend. 

This past week, the girls met their Aunt Erin! Their meeting was great! They love meeting new people and since Erin was able to stay with us for awhile, they really got to know each other pretty well. We surprised the girls with a fun Saturday adventure. I had told them that we were going to go hiking up a mountain that could be magical. They worked hard all week at being good and worked to earn "tickets" to be able to go. We all got ready Saturday morning and headed out to Santa Clarita to go "hiking".  The two were surprised when we pulled into an area where they could see a few large roller coasters. To their surprise we were spending the day at SIX FLAGS - MAGIC MOUNTAIN! They were both so happy and thoroughly excited! We gave them some rules on behavior at the park and explained how the day was going to go and hit the ground running! Overall, it was a really great day. We had a couple issues towards the end of the day, S kept asking for us to buy things (which was one of our rules) and since we kind of left abruptly, M didn't understand and was upset we had to leave. Other than that, and getting soaked on the first ride, it was a super day! 

Some have asked about having a "baby" shower, but since we are adopting a 6 & 7 year old a shower didn't seem like the right thing to do. So, last week I sent out letters to our family and close friends about our new arrivals. We extended an open invitation to those that would like to visit, Skype, call, or mail us. A couple people asked for more information about the little lovelies as well. Here's what I can share with you. M is 7 and loves pink, horses, and princesses. S is 6 and loves blue, soccer, and Cars. Both girls wear sizes 7-8-9 in clothes, size 1 shoes. They have soccer class on Saturdays and will be starting gymnastics too. Let us know if you would like any other information about them. They are a blessing and are learning that this is their forever home. 

Let Me Tell You About Our Weekend

Our Saturday started out like the past Saturdays ... Soccer class at 9 am. The class was amazing and the girls love going to soccer. They have a great coach that plays, warms them up, teaches them moves, and talks with them about confidence and team work. After soccer we came home and played nail salon. Both girls had mani-pedi's in purple and pink. Our plan for the day was to drive to Sean's Aunt and Uncles in LA. They invited us over to some play time in their hot tub and dinner. The girls love going places and seeing new things. 

Some of you know that Sean had been away in Mississippi for NCO school. He has been gone for the past 3 weeks. So it's just been the girls and I for the most part. Well, Sean surprised me by secretly flying back to LA Friday night (due to the government shut-down). He didn't tell me until Saturday before the girls and I  to LA. 

I was so excited! So happy that he would be coming home with us. Thrilled that the girls would have their dad back and we could continue our family bonding. We were at his family's house for about an hour and then there was a knock on the door. Aunt Catherine opened the door and to the girls surprise, there was their DAD!  They were shocked! S couldn't believe her eyes! M was speechless! He stood there with open arms waiting for hugs, but the girls could not move. So I jumped up and gave him hugs and kisses. S soon was able to move and give her dad a hug. We turned to M and she was gone. All the excitement made her upset and she went and hid behind the door. When we found her, we had a little chat about what happened and she was upset that no one told her that he was coming home. I also believe that M knew that her 'mom' time would be over and she would have to listen to two parents now at home. Soon she warmed up and was able to give her dad a hug. 

The girls spent a couple hours in the hot tub splashing around and then we had a delicious dinner outside. We came home with two tired little lovelies. 

The girls will get to meet their Aunt Erin this week. We have plans for tons of fun!

The Tooth Fairy is Coming Tonight!

It's pretty exciting that the tooth fairy is coming to our house tonight. It's the first time a fairy will be in our house! Little S had this loose tooth for quite awhile but it seemed like she did not want it to fall out. She let me try to pull it a few times but I didn't want to hurt her. Finally tonight I had her wiggle it with her tongue 3 times, then use her fingers 3 times, and then Try to twist it 3 times. It finally came out. She was so happy when it came out! She even went around to all 3 dogs and told them. We found a little jewelry satchel to put it in for the tooth fairy. We just hope the tooth fairy knows our new address! 

The Magical Beach

All I can say is the beach was absolutely amazing! It seemed like the girls were the happiest they have ever been in their whole lives.  They loved the waves, the sand under their feet, and the sun on their little faces. 

At first they were hesitant and couldn't tell what the waves would do or how high they would go, but that didn't last long. Before I knew it, they were both in with waves coming in over their heads! 

I feel so blessed that one of my best friends Stephy was able to spend the day with us. The girls love her and loved dragging her out into the bigger waves. Sean's best friend also came out to meet the girls and they were instantly drawn to him. It was nice seeing the girls interact with others in a fun, playful way. Sean's Aunt and Uncle also joined us for awhile and got to see some of the fun and big smiles on their faces. 

After our beach time, Stephy and I walked the girls on the busy Santa Monica Pier. They did really well and loved being able to overlook the water. 

A super day ended with two, I mean three, very tired girls. 

The Start of a Nice Weekend!

I think this is what a great Saturday looks like. The girls had a wonderful hour long soccer class at the fields. They did extremely well and burned off a lot of energy. M dominated on offense and S ruled defense. A quick trip to lowes to get some pavers for the back yard then drive thru McD's with lunch time at a nearby park. They girls ate lunch and then worked their way thru the stationary work out equipment in the park. Then we found the super huge play area. The play structure is 3 levels tall. It has a rock climbing part and 3 super tall curvy slides. Climbing up three stories was slightly scary for M but she conquered her fear and started to love it. S, on the other hand, jumped in head first. It could have been six stories and she would have loved it. After playing for awhile the girls started looking for pine cones and nests within the big park trees. I love seeing them play nicely and use their imagination on different things. 

Tomorrow will be another fun, exciting day. We are going to venture out to the beach. Our plan is to be there before noon and hang out near the water. If I feel brave a walk at the Santa Monica Pier could be possible. We are so excited that Stephy, Sean's Aunt and Uncle, and Sean's best friend will all be joining us. It will be (hopefully be) a fun filled day! 

Here's the first picture of the girls that I  sharing online. Enjoy the masks! 

A Good Weekend

Thank heavens for a really great weekend!!! We survived with no fits and tantrums!! YAY!

We all had a great time with Stephanie visiting. The girls loved her and she did amazing with helping out and keeping them entertained. Soccer practice went really well and they both enjoyed it. The girls each have soccer balls to practice with. The day went so well that we even went out for a nice dinner Saturday night. The girls were excited to get dressed up in cute dresses that they had not been able to wear yet. Sunday we spent the day in our pajamas doing arts and crafts and watching tv. All in all, it was a good weekend. (Oh, the little dog was finally picked up early Saturday)

Yesterday the girls went to the post office and mailed off their first packages to their family members. They made pictures and colored pages for their bio- nana, papa & auntie and foster parents, and made thank you cards for my dad and step-mom. They also got a P.O. Box at the post office for their family and others to send them letters. If any one would like, you are welcome to send the girls letters or cards to PO Box 490, Lancaster CA 93584.

That's pretty much it for the week so far. Nana (Sean's mom) will be leaving us tomorrow :(. She has been such a great help with unpacking and helping with the girls. I will be spending my day on Thursday at the insurance office, working on getting the girls signed up for their CA insurance. On Friday we have a home visit from a New Mexico state worker (since we have not been assigned one here yet.)

Now, what to do? Breakfast then some more picture hanging!

My Plate is Over Flowing!

So here's an update of how things have been going lately. I already blogged about school for the girls starting on September 4th and how the first week (3 days left of the week) ended with both girls not behaving appropriately. One resulted in a 'hot slip' being sent home and the other was just a conversation. On Monday of this week, M was sent home with a 'hot slip' for not behaving appropriately (I really should not be giving details on the specific issues). And as another Friday rolls around, another 'hot slip' for S comes home from inappropriate behavior. These behaviors are generally not keeping their hands/body parts to themselves. The girls do not know what appropriate behavior should be when faced with situations that challenge them. This is where therapy would come in to play.

Speaking of therapy... The school uses a wonderful therapy service for kids that experienced trauma and hardships. I am so excited about getting them started, but it takes the California medical insurance to get them started. Which we do not have yet. This makes me so frustrated. These little lovelies are somewhat lost and are needing the additional help.

Tomorrow we start soccer. I hope that the additional exercise and experience with other kids, outside of school, will be a benefit and a chance for me to see the girls interacting with other children. Since I do not see them interacting with others, I am not able to coach or help them along with things go astray. I am really hoping that this will help. If attending soccer goes well, gymnastics will be the next activity they will be signed up for.

The girls love arts and crafts. Construction paper, scissors, pencils, tape, stickers and crayons will keep them busy for a little while. We haven't broke out the markers or paint yet. They are excited to meet my friend Stephy tomorrow and have her here to play for awhile. I think she will fit right in with the little lovelies.

And the rest of how things are going... the brown boxes are starting to disappear! YAY! I have unpacked more and more each day and started to put boxes into a storage unit near by. Sean's mom has been here and has been a great help with getting the boxes unpacked and out of the garage. Today we were even able to hang pictures up on the wall. And the rest of my plate is filled with a stray dog that has been hanging out at my door for the past couple of days. I have placed several calls to animal control and they keep telling me someone will be out. Thankfully, the small dog is friendly and super cute. I had hoped that someone would be looking for him, but no one has came by yet. I posted on FB and CL with no luck. I hope they come soon. He has started scratching at the door and trying to dig under the fence.

Time to cook dinner!

Saturday on a Quiet Street

One of the nicest things about the neighborhood that we moved to is that the road in front of our house does not have thru traffic. The only reason cars go on the road in front of our house is if they live on it. Which makes it quite nice for M&S to have an evening bike ride. The breeze is nice since the days are scorching hot. There are a few kids that live close by, but it's not overwhelming and loud. 

This morning was a morning full of fits and tantrums and whining. A day that we wanted to run errands and enjoy some time out of the house. We finally got the girls to a calmer state with a promise to listen and to behave the rest of the day. 

We made a Costco run, lunch at Rubios, and a stop at health food store. Our outing ended with a dead battery and a 45 minute wait for a service truck. We made it home and naps were a breeze. After dinner the girls had a choice of staying up late and watching Brave or riding bikes with a normal bed time. They actually chose to ride their bikes. We were happy for the good choice, but Sean and I really wanted to watch Brave. 

Maybe tomorrow! 

A Month In...

It's been a month since we met M&S. A month of transition, change, learning, and a move over 700 miles away. The past few weeks have been absolutely crazy. We packed up, and unpacked into our new house. We are now living in California.
Living, unpacking, and pulling my hair out! Trying to do as much as I can without going mentally insane. If you know me, you know that having our lives in boxes and living out of boxes drives me crazy. I am learning that it will take time, just like everything else. Our lives of being so simple are totally opposite and I am learning how to handle it.
M&S are doing pretty well. They started school on Wednesday of this week, after a run around with the schools psych for almost a week. He needed to review all of their educational plans and decide if the school in our district was the correct school. The first couple of school days went well. One of the girls has a good teacher that told me that she was behind the class (which I knew.) And now we are looking into a tutor for her to help her get more on track. I have not heard anything yet from the other's teacher, but I know soon that I will. I still have to get with the school psych to find out what services the school provides for the girls.
But today is another day. I got a call from school that M needed a different pair of shoes because she was getting blisters. When I arrived, M informed me that she had hit a girl in the stomach. She said that they were playing, but did it on purpose. She also said that she just wanted to go home. We had a talk about how that is not appropriate and how we would not like to be hit, and to think about your actions. And then she finished her day at school. I told her that she could not go home when things go wrong and to be more careful. I picked up the girls from school at the end of their school day and S informed me that she hit someone as well. She said they were playing that the other girl was playing dead and she hit her in the mouth. The teacher gave her a hot slip about not keeping her hands to herself. The consequece for their actions today is no TV tonight (Friday Night), and the whole weekend to work on keeping their hands and feet to themselves. They are not allowed to touch/play with each other, us, or the dogs. Sean has been on a business trip this week and comes home tonight. They also have to sit down with their dad and tell him what happened. I just hope I am handling this the right way.
We have learned to keep the consequences simple. Where I wanted to ground them from TV the whole weekend, I know to limit to just a night. We are trying not to pile up the consequences so that they explode.
The girls are spending the evening at the kitchen table coloring or working on school type work. Later they may be able to play in their separate rooms, but not with each other.
I know that these issues will come up in school. There are so many things that I want to do with the girls, fun things like gymnastics, playing at different parks, going to the beach, and spending time in LA with family and friends. I feel that these are special outings reserved for the girls being well behaved. If we do these when they are not behaved it makes it seem like its ok to not behave. It may be awhile until we are able to go out and do fun stuff. But on the flip side, I want them able to behave when we do go out as well. Catch 22!


And yes, it's been awhile since I blogged last. I hope to be able to blog more as the brown boxes disappear!

Today Topped Yesterday!

Ok, now I can say their true colors have been shown. Talk about a challenge. Two sisters that have always been together that have to be kept separate because they can not play well together for more than two minutes. Yes I timed it! At times they are so nice to each other, but when one tells the other no, all hell breaks loose. I think today was the longest day ever. We are trying to get everything packed and having to keep peace in the house too. I know it's not easy for them and we have been trying our best to keep them busy, but a day full of not listening and talking back is just crazy. Five tantrums between the two, and they even took short naps, watched movies at rest time, went to Walmart, and rode bikes. I have never heard screams like I have heard today. I have never heard children say such mean things as I have heard today. From blocking doors, to guarding the punches and kicks, to having to carry a child to their room. Whew! I feel like I am doing something wrong! 

The apologies are sweet and seem to be genuine, but then it happened all over again. I know this must be so hard for them to comprehend. And I am hoping that Monday will go smoothly. 

Whew! What a day!

I don't even know where to start. I even handed the iPad over to Sean asking him if he wanted to blog tonight. I had the hardest time falling asleep last night, then around 1:30 am, M was at our door. I went to her room for a bit to try to help her get back asleep and returned to bed.m Ten minutes later, she was at our door again and Sean went to lay with her. He returned to bed 30 minutes later. A few minutes after that she was demanding me to the door. I had no clue what to do, but knew I needed sleep! I got pretty frustrated and she was close to going in to S's room when I practically snapped. That's all I needed, both of them awake. I caved. I told her that she could bring in a blanket and lay on our floor. I was kind of hoping she would not want to because its the floor and its dark (no night light). But she grabbed her pillow and blanket and was right in.  Right to sleep she went. Now I think I need to figure out how to end the night light era. This could help.

Sure enough, up bright and early. I can hardly remember the morning, that's how tired I am. We all got ready and headed to Albuquerque for our 10:30am meeting at the title company to finish the sale closing of our house here. Thank heavens, it closed and is complete. It may have been the fastest short sale ever! M&S were great while we signed. After signing, they dropped me off at Burlington Coat Factory to finish shopping using the school vouchers provided to us by our adoption worker. Sean and the girls went to ITZ family fun place for lunch and to kill time playing games while I shopped. We had a good time collecting tickets from the games. The girls just wanted to turn in the tickets for a prize and struggled with the concept of using all the funds on the game card first to get more tickets. Looking back on what they picked, I bet they don't remember, but at the time it was a big deal. 

They both had short 10 minute naps on the ride home. They were both looking forward to going to Walmart after naps to use their party money and gift-card. Our agreement was to stay in your room and nap/rest and we would go after that. M slightly struggled with this, but she was able to stay in her room. S started out in her room and seemed ok with resting, but then blew up. I repeated told her the agreement we had but she refused to stay in her room. I told her to get up and don't worry about a nap and she could stay home and that set her off even more. I once again told her to rest in her room and she proceeded to run down stairs and threw herself on the floor saying that's where she would sleep. That was the last straw for me. I told her that she was not listening to me and she would be staying home with Sean. The tantrum she threw was out of this world. Screaming and yelling. Blocking the door. Demanding to go. Threatening to run away. We heard it all. Eventually M and I were able to leave, but we could hear her from outside. I felt very bad for her, and kept telling her that she wasn't ready to go spend her money and have more fun. And that children that throw fits do not get to go with me to Walmart. M was able to pick out an electric toothbrush, a new leapfrog game, and a DVD fir our ride to California. When we returned home, S was calm and seemed like she was sorrowful for what had happened. 

We did some packing in the garage and kitchen. M was overly eager to help clean, and was disappointed when we would not allow her to clean what she wanted (walls with cleaning wipes) and offered her other things to clean that she did not like (baseboards). Soon we were able to calm her down and dinner was made. We watched Rise of the Guardian (great movie), had dessert, and got ready for bed. Both girls had a story read to them, and were asleep by 8:45pm. 

Yes, whew what a day! And that's about half of the details! Sean had a pretty stressful time alone with the girls. He also mentioned keeping a more exact time log of events for the girls to see if their medications trigger a up/down spike in their moods. This could be something easy to do in a basic notebook. 

Tomorrows a day of packing to get everything ready for the uhaul on Sunday. I can't wait to get out of here and to start the next chapter of our lives!

Here to Stay!

Late night up with M that was full of emotions, also led to an early morning and a busy day. Today, we had a visit from our adoption worker and we signed the final placement papers for M&S. These state that we are now their guardian. The clock starts now for our 6 month period before the adoption is finalized. 

Our visit with her was a little later than anticipated, which led to naps being pushed off some. Both of the girls were not at all happy about naps today, especially S. She was so tired but refused to nap in her room. She ended up in the area right outside our bedroom on the floor. I guess that's better than no nap at all. I don't even think M closed her eyes. The naps were short for we had to get to their therapy release party at 3:30 in Albuquerque. I fixed the girls hair super cute and we were out the door. 

The party was really nice. Their grandparents and aunt were there, along with other foster patents that had the girls on respite. Their foster parents were also there as well. The girls received some cute gifts and were able to spend some quality time with their family. Their bio family was so nice and I will never forget their grandmothers words. She had been so worried about 3 things over the past few years that they had been in the system. 1-that the girls would never be adopted, 2-that the girls would be split up, and 3- that they would lose contact with them. They are so grateful for us, and we are very grateful for them. We just extended our family; besides just having two little lovelies in our hearts. 

I was to also get some school shopping done while Sean took the girls to the park. We got home right before bedtime, and S was too exhausted to articulate her needs and a little breakdown happened. She was pretty exhausted. She took some time to herself and then finished her night with a little bedtime story told by her dad. 

Tomorrows another busy day. We sign the final closing documents on our house here! Very happy that our realtor pulled through and made this happen before we left the state. After that, I plan on doing some more school shopping, thanks to the clothing vouchers from CYFD. 

We just can't wait to get to California so we can all be settled. In our new home and in a new school. We can't wait to see all the family we have out there too, and we can't wait to start introducing them to their world. 

Last day of Transition

The end is near! Tonight is our last night alone with no kids. Tomorrow it all changes! It is pretty scary thinking about it. It is such a life changing event for us, as you can imagine. 

So we completed our 3 day weekend, which went very well over all. We think consistency is the key with the girls. During this transition calendar and going back and forth we could see the struggle that they are having. We know the next few days will be rough getting back into our groove.  

Bedtimes became easier, naps were still a struggle with S, but we think they will always be. We think with no nap, bed time will come earlier at least. When school starts for them in California , we hope the bed time issues will disappear. We did have their party at the trampoline park, and they did have a pretty good time. It's such a great outlet for letting them run and jump and to burn so much energy. I was pretty disappointed that not very many people showed up. We only had 4 parties arrive. I had thought that others that I invited cared enough to show, but I thought wrong. It sucks when you think others you work with care and then you decide to spend a good amount of money on a party and no one shows up. I am super grateful for the people that did show and the couple that called after to apologize for not making it. Oh well, the lovelies had a good time, that's all that counts. 

On Monday the girls had a therapy visit with their grandparents and aunt. We definitely see a different side of the girls in therapy. Mostly a side we really never see. M seems more shut off, and S tends to be shut off and more child like. M did not like that her grandmother got emotional and started to cry. I had her leave the room to talk with her about it. We worked through it and then returned to the session. S seemed to soak up the therapy time with her grandma and aunt, which was nice to see. M finally came around to interacting after no one was emotional. 

We took the girls back to their foster parents home at 7 last night. They spent last night and all day today with them. The girls will be coming back tomorrow evening around 7pm for forever. FOREVER!

We are very excited for them and for us and we wish only the best for them. 

As for our move, we had packers here yesterday and today. The movers come tomorrow to load it all up. We have secluded our selves to our bedroom with the only available tv. Dogs are stressed and so are we. We are lucky that the girls only had to experience one day of the process. When they come back all they will see is mattresses and a few days worth of clothing. We kept back a few kitchen items so we can finish all the food in our freezer. I just want it all to be over and for us to be on our way to California. 

Monday we are OUT!

Transition Day 13-A Good Day

While looking back on today's adventures, I can say it was a pretty good day. Keep in mind we are still getting to know the girls and we are in the midst of a PCS to California. Our movers come on Monday, so just imagine all that we have going on. 

We had a few wake ups by S last night, but she was easily redirected to go back to bed. Especially after the bed time experience/struggle we had with her. M was snug as a bug in her bed, which was awesome! The girls had perfect timing of coming to wake us up right around 7am. We watched some cartoons and had some cereal for breakfast. The girls got ready and I took them to the park so Sean could get the grill cleaned for the movers. We had a really fun time at the park and played hide and seek. I decided to try again with a little school shopping at Payless and again, they taught me a lesson. I know for sure to just bring clothing/shoes home for them. We did find some cute black flats for some of the dressy clothes we purchased for school. We are hoping that our adoption worker will pull through and get us clothing vouchers for the girls for school. They used to go to a uniform school and now we are needing regular school clothes. I had the chance to go through some of their regular clothes and saw that I will be definitely getting rid of a lot of them because they are too small and not appropriate for school. So it's a whole new wardrobe for these two little lovelies = $$$ = a broke mom! So we really hope our worker will pull through. 

We came home for lunch and then it was nap time. S put up a bit of a struggle, which I am getting used to and I know it will go by fast. After some ups and downs, she was asleep on the couch. M was more willing to curl up under a blanket for her nap. An hour and a half later, all eyes were open. They watched "Bolt" while Sean and I did some organizing for the movers, and then watched "Up" while dinner was cooked. Dinner was great, and the girls ate up the tacos. We talked about all the other members of their new family, which made them really excited. Ice cream with a little chocolate syrup for dessert made them more than happy. 

We finished our evening with some dancing time, mostly by S, but M joined in some as well. I recorded her dancing and it was so precious. In her room she has a mirror and she had the best time dancing around and doing some breakdancing on the floor. This was a great energy outlet. We played with the camera feature on the iMac and we all got a good laugh out of some of the effects the camera has. We did see some new sides of M today concerning when she does not get her way with S. There was a time where she asked S if she could play with her guitar and S said no. M stormed off and closed herself in the bathroom. I coaxed her out pretty quickly and she was fine. While we were playing/dancing in S's room, we asked her not to pick up Spike, and then she did. We had her repeat the rules and then she hid herself in the closet. She came out quickly and there was just a little pouting.  I am glad we are seeing a few of her issues now, but we know there will be more later. 

Bath time with some Baby Magic Lavender and Chamomile helped calm them both down. I read stories to M, then S and they were immediately asleep. Such a huge difference from the night before. I hope that all days could be like or as better as it was today. 

Tomorrow's another busy day. More organizing for the move and then our Hello/Goodbye Party at the trampoline park. All are invited! It's at Cool Springz at 4pm. The girls are excited about meeting new people and getting to play there again. We hope a few people will show up! 

Transition Day 12-first day of 3 overnights

Sean and I have enjoyed our day to ourselves yesterday and now we just completed the first day of the start of our 3 overnights in a row. We picked up M&S from a therapy appointment and headed home for lunch and a nap. Sean had to run to do some work out-processing items today. Lunch was quick and easy, but nap time was very difficult. We really want the girls to get used to being in their own rooms and beds. But I could see that a nap would not happen if they were not next to me in my bed. I let the girls get in our bed and after about 15 minutes of complaining about naps and moving all around the bed, we were all asleep. We had Risky, me, spike, S and M all in a line across the bed. After our hour nap we watched some Gator Man on Animal Planet and then Sean was home. Our surprise for the afternoon was going to the movies to see "Planes". The girls were pretty excited and the movie went really well. 

Learning:

We have learned some to stand our ground. We have to continue to stay strong on our word and that when we say no, it means no and we are serious and here to keep them save. We find times that they are used to compromising, which is ok at times and not ok at other times. We know we are being tested as well. At times it is so hard, and I know it's going to be harder before it gets easier. But at least some of the trials are happening now than later. 

We had a good evening at home, but bed time was a bit of a struggle. S was pretty tired, she even said she was tired, but refused to go to bed. She kept saying that she wanted to sleep in our bed. I feel that letting her sleep in our bed at night will continue to her always asking to sleep in our bed. Which also makes the nap time confusing in our bed as well. It's so hard to draw the line at times to make it all make sense to them. We will figure it out though. Sean spent 20 minutes with S in her room to make sure she was calm and for her to know that he was keeping her safe and to hopefully fall asleep soon. She soon was calm and able to get to sleep. This poor child is so confused about this process and will greatly miss all her connections she has here. 

We haven't had any major issues with M yet, but her therapists and foster parents insist her tantrums are 100 times worse. So we shall wait and see what happens. I may have a talk with her tomorrow in regards to what to expect and how she thinks we should handle it. 

We have enjoyed getting to know these little lovelies. S is such a daddies girl. She loves to be near him and asks about him when he is away. M sticks close to me and always is showing she is brave. I look forward to the good days and the bad days. And showing M&S how much we care and will keep them safe. 

Transition Day -Who knows?

I couldn't even tell you what day of the transition it is, and I would have to think about what day of the week it is. I'm pretty sure it's Thursday though. We had our first overnight with M&S Tuesday night. We got to experience our first tantrum! Overall, I think it was mostly due to S not getting a nap that day. She had a busy day that consisted of a psych appointment followed by an OT appointment. During our drive she was very sleepy.  But the real S arrived that evening. The whole episode was over in about 20 minutes, and life went on. On Wednesday we also had the pleasure of seeing two tantrums brought to us by S. One was over some name calling which included some redirection lasting about 10 minutes, and the other was over S thinking we were giving her the wrong dosage of her afternoon medication. These tantrums really pulled at my heart strings and I felt so sad for her. I did get upset, but I wasn't taking it personally. We just had to ensure S that we love her and will keep her safe. She is having a pretty rough time with the transition. We can see that she is trying and that she loves spending time with us, but she does love her foster parents. Which makes all of this super hard for her. 

The time we have had with M has been very good. We can tell that she is trying to hard to be good and to please us. We haven't had any big issues with M, but we know this honeymoon period will be over soon. 

Oh, but the good things about theses two little lovelies are amazing. They can be soooo sweet and so loving most of the time. S loves to sing about Jesus and M is up for anything. They love to play (which doesn't happen for a long period of time) and love to learn. We see so many wonderful qualities in them that we can't wait to share with everyone. We know that starting school in California will be a rough, hard, challenge for them. S has some developmental delays and M is slightly behind kids her age. The trauma that has happened to them in their early years has greatly affected them and their ability to learn and function in school and outside of school. 

Today, the only contact with the girls was at their therapy appointment. We had the rest of the day to ourselves. We did some shopping for baby monitors and a child gate for M's room, and some grocery shopping to get us through the weekend. Tomorrow the girls will come over for 3 overnights. I am sure we will encounter more tantrums and all sorts of exhausting activities. And to top it off, our movers are coming on Monday. We will be spending the weekend getting everything organized. We waited so long for this and now it is happening so fast! Say a little prayer for us!

Transition-Day 7&8-Breaking Out of their Shells

Day 7 was a rest day. Much needed rest day. We did talk to the girls on the phone for a couple minutes in the evening. 

Today was Day 8, crazy how long we waited and now how fast it's going. All is going well. We are starting to see their true colors and they are breaking out of their shells. 

Today we played at the park on base while Sean did some work. Playing at the park was a huge success they played really well together and with others. We had lunch at BWW, which was good, except for the long wait for our food. We met their foster mom at their old school and dis enrolled them and they were able to say goodbye to their teachers. They all wished them well. S was very excited to tell everyone that she was getting adopted and that we ate her new mom and dad. 

We came home and rested while watching some Disney channel and the played a bit in one of the rooms until it was time to start dinner. S had an incident with getting too close to Risky (dobie) which is calling now for the girls to ask to pet the dogs. Risky was trying to walk away from S petting him and she kept following him and got too close to him and he had to panic and turn quickly to get away. 

The girls made a few drawings before a yummy dinner of pork chops, Mac n cheese and broccoli was served. Sean started a game M&S love at dinner by talking about good nice things about each other, they are really catching on and seem to enjoy 'bragging' about each other.  

We drove the girls back to their foster patents home and said our goodbyes. Tomorrow is a other busy day!

Transition-Day Six- Lesson Learned

Day Six of our schedule, our second day visit. We picked up M&S this am around 10 and then went around running errands. First to Tractor Supply for dog food, then to get gas, and lastly to Walmart. We told the girls that today we can pick out backpacks, 'look' at toys, and find some back to school clothes. The girls were excited to hear that they would not be wearing a uniform to their new school in CA, but that meant buying all new appropriate school clothing (ICK!). 

Getting dog food and getting gas was the easy part. Walmart was a bit more challenging. First the girls had issues with who was going to push the cart, then Dad mentioned that they could sit in the cart, which I did not agree with, which turned into a slight meltdown in the entry way at Walmart with S. we got it figured out and then trampled our way to the back to school section  for backpacks. This was a pretty easy choice for the girls due to a low selection so close to school starting. Next to quickly looked at bikes and toys. This went pretty well too, except for S constantly asking for us to buy her something. We went to the girls clothing section and found an outfit, then a couple more, and some clothing that was also on clearance. We let them pick out clothes, which turned into quite the ordeal, but we survived. I learned a lesson today in clothes shopping with two girls...I will go and pick it out myself and bring it home, or take them one by one. It was too overwhelming, and I don't think I was prepared for it. M&S are used to just having a couple choices, but when thrown with many, our 'engines' start running high, which makes all of us a little stressed out. The grocery section was a piece of cake. 

Home we came to eat lunch. After lunch we went up stairs to play in their rooms for a bit. S really enjoyed playing with the Barbie dream house, while M was more into the stuffed animals. After playing some, it was time to rest. S curled up in her new bed and Spike and I joined her while M and Sean went downstairs to watch tv and hang out. Our down time lasted about 30 minutes and then we were getting ready to walk the dogs to the park. Our play time was cut short by some rowdy, unruly, rude kids, but we were able to play some before heading back home. We watched a tinker bell movie while Sean made dinner. Smoothies were for dessert and then 6pm came around and their foster parents came to pick them up. 

All in all a good day with a few little issues hear and there, nothing we couldn't handle. S is more anxious and rambunctious, while M is more calm, but bossy. They are definitely little handfuls, but the I Love You's and Moms and Dads are priceless and sweet. 

Tomorrow is Sunday, a day of rest for us. The girls will be staying at their foster parents for the day and we will just be having a phone conversation at 7pm with them. I welcome the rest day as I look at our jam packed schedule and seeing that our movers are coming next Monday. Which means that with the girls spending the whole weekend with us, we will also be organizing our house for the move. Let the fun begin! 

Transition-Day Five-I Wanna Stay Here

Another great day with M&S. They arrived around 11am today and we had a quick look around the house and a small lunch. We played with the dogs a lot so that they could get used to them as well. We had a small amount of down time where we cuddled in the chair some and then we got ready for a surprise outing in ABQ. We had a great car ride up to ABQ and ended up at the trampoline park where we jumped and bounced our hearts out. We had a pretty awesome time. We loved hearing the "Mom/Dad watch me do this!" all afternoon long. At the end we all were sweaty, exhausted, and ready to go home. On the ride home the girls sang "I love you Mom and Dad" into a root beer bottle in the back seat. It was definitely cute. 

We hung out at home until their foster mom came to pick them up. M snuggled up with me and Spike on the oversized chair, and S was night next to Sean on the couch. The day was amazing. Foster mom got a tour of the house by the girls and then was hesitant to leave saying "I wanna stay here!"

Tomorrows another day visit. We plan on staying around the house after running a few errands. We need to ensure that the girls know that we are not always out doing stuff and we value the time we can spend at home together as a family. Much Love!

Transition-Day Four-I'm Getting Adopted

First day of retirement for me, and a couple hours of therapy for us. We met M&S at their therapists office. When we entered we were greeted with big hugs and even bigger smiles from M&S. It was such a warm feeling seeing their reactions to us. Now that we know we will see them almost everyday, the anxiety level has decreased for me. I now know its a sure thing. We hung out in the lobby/play area while they bounced around. S saw an old friend from a group session and told him that she is being adopted and we are her new parents. She is very excited to share our news. 

When therapists J came out to start with us, I could see M tighten up and was hesitant to go forward. I told her that she could hold my hand and we could go together. This worked wonders for her. I looked back and could see S holding Sean's hand as well. 

We met first without M&S for a few minutes to discuss the plan for the session. Then J had the girls come in. S was quick to cuddle right up against Sean and M was right at my side. We talked about our dinner the night before and how much fun we had. And then on to our main three topics. Therapist J wanted to be sure that M&S knew that we knew all of the bad stuff that had happened to them before. They thought that we did not know, but we told them that we know everything and that we still love them and always will. This went over well with them. We also talked about what the scary things about being adopted are, like moving away, missing their family, and missing their foster parents. And lastly, we talked about the great things about being adopted are, like playing new things, learning with us, and always having a mom and dad that will keep them safe. All in all, it was another amazing day. 

When our session was over, we met bio-grandparents and aunt. It was nice to briefly meet them, but we wanted the girls to spend time with them. So we got our goodbye hugs and told the girls that we would see them tomorrow. 

Tomorrow is our first day visit with them. Foster dad is bringing them over at 11am. We plan on going swimming in ABQ. We wanted to plan a fun first day with us, instead of staying home and getting to know each other. We can save that for Saturday. 

I am so excited for them to meet our dogs, and they are really looking forward to that as well. We did talk about not being rough with them and how we would show them what they like. The furry kids will have to go through their transition as well. Less time with us,but more love from two little lovelies. 

Transition Day Three-My New Mom & Dad

After a long last day at work, our transition calendar called for dinner with the girls at their home. I felt as ease and less anxious about this day because the initial meeting had already happened and I knew it all would go well.

We arrived at their home and got big smiles and hugs by S while M was glued to the tv. She finally realized we were there and jumped up to greet us. We asked to see their rooms and quickly we were both escorted separately to an individual girls room. I went with S and Sean was with M. S walked me all around her room and showed me all of her photos and toys. She had a class photo and I asked her about who her friends are and she said that she did not have any friends. I told her that I would be her friend and she said "No, you are going to be my mom." I loved the fact that she said that and was extremely confident about it. She also showed me her guitar and play a couple strings for me. We next went to M's room and I walked in to see M starting to sing part of a song to Sean. She got a little embarrassed and stopped. I then checked out M's room while Sean went with S. I got a quick tour before dinner was ready. 

We sat at a table with just M&S and ate lasagna and had ice cream for dessert. Dinner was amazing! We had little conversations with the girls and they did extremely well behaving and staying on track. A few times the girls did mention they were happy that we will be their new mom and dad. 

We headed outside to play after dinner. Bouncing the basketball and playing frisbee led into playing baseball. We had such a great time running around teaching and chasing the girls. They are quite the pair! They introduced us to their uncle as their mom and dad, and a few times we heard the girls call out to us as 'mommy and daddy.' 

7pm came quickly. We feel that we had a great visit with them and its a great start to a wonderful relationship. Tomorrow, we meet them for our first therapy appointment together. We also get to meet their biological grandparents and aunt. We look forward to meeting them and we know that they are extremely happy for the girls and their new chapter in their little lovely lives. 

Transition-Day Two-Your Wish Came True

Finally the wait is over. Today around 4:00 we met M&S at a therapy office close to our home. The room lit up with smiles as they walked into the room. We were all so excited to finally be meeting each other. It was also a big sigh of relief that they were happy with us moving forward with their adoption. 

M&S were a little shy at first, but they warmed up to us. They were full of information, questions, and giving out little tidbits about themselves. I think we were both kind in in awe for the initial meeting. We were both so very excited about the next chapter in our lives. 

The girls were full of energy towards the end and bouncing all over the place. We enjoyed learning all the little things about them that makes them who they are. S did quietly ask her foster mom if she could say "I love you" and she shyly did. M whispered to foster mom if she could ask if she could call us mom and dad. And we said "of course". 

The hour went by so fast. There was such a build up getting to this day and now it was here. The girls and US are very excited about our dinner tomorrow night at their place. They can't wait for us to see their rooms and all their stuff. 

We didn't get the big hugs and I love you's that we thought we would get. But I know that will all come in time. Maybe even tomorrow night after spending more time with them. Their eyes were big (and blue) in seeing us and learning about us. Towards the end, M whispered to me "I wish that you were my parents" and I whispered back "Your wish just came true."

Transition -Day One-Happy Dance

Yesterday was the first day of our transition calendar. Which means the girls were told about us and received our book. Their appointment was at 10am with their foster parents and therapists. I was really anxious about this meeting because it could have went two very different ways -really good or really bad. 

I texted their therapist around 10:30 letting her know that I was really excited to her from her after their meeting. She soon called me back with all sorts of good news! 

(I wanted to blog about this because it is just the start of things and I never want to forget all that I heard on this very important day.)

Here's how it went: A (therapists first initial) and J (other therapists first initial) sat the girls down with their foster parents. They told the girls that they had some really big news and they found a forever family for them. M spoke up and said "Is it the family we met at the Lobos event?" (This was the adoption event held in the beginning of May.) And A and J said yes. They told me that she was very happy and excited. They looked through the picture book we gave them of our family and at the end A and J told them that they also had more news that may be scary. This is the news of us moving. They told M&S that we are moving and M said "I hope it's California!" We all could not believe that she guessed it. Of course they were happy to hear about that. 

M noticed that in our book Sean had some facial hair, the photo was taken over the holidays and we met them in May. She said "Oh, he has a beard now." We couldn't believe that she remembered him that closely. 

S had a chance to go through the book again and after she was done she hugged the book and said "I love them." But she was also sad about leaning her foster mom and said "I'll miss you mom". S also loved the photos of the dogs and said that she wanted to buy the dogs presents. (So Cute!). 

S asked if when they move if they will be sharing a room and they told her that they will still have their own rooms. She asked about what if she gets scared and if she can come cuddle. A and J told her that since we are their forever mom and dad that she could cuddle with us at night (this is not allowed in the treatment foster care due to boundary issues)  S replied happily "Well maybe not every night."  

M did a dance, she called it her happy dance and wanted to show us when she meets us. :)  They were happy about living close to the ocean, even though it will still be a couple hours drive. S said that she was happy she learned to swim this summer because she could swim in the ocean and watch for sharks. M said that she was happy because she can be a surfer. M also said that she loves us so much already. 

M was concerned with therapist J being at the meeting because she did not want to talk about hard stuff. (J's main job is to discuss tough challenging issues with M&S)  J ensured her that they would not be. We feel that M feels that if we knew the "hard stuff" that we may not want her. She does not know that we already know everything and still love and want her. 

I was so happy to hear about how their meeting went. Now we are getting ready to go meet them. Leaving here in a few minutes. I don't have words expressing how excited, anxious and nervous I am. We have waited so long and the time is finally here. A told me yesterday to not be surprised if they run up to us with big hugs and I Love Yous! 

Your Education...

This post I am going to use to share a few things that I would like family and friends to view to more understand how are lives will be with our adoption of M&S.

Children that have experienced trauma like M&S need to be parented differently than the traditional parenting ways. This for some, will be hard to understand. But with sharing these few things, we hope that you will have some insight on how our family will be.

Our home values will be circled around Respect and Boundaries.

All of these video clips on an a site called Vimeo (it's just like YouTube) there are many more and they all are helpful. Once I get through my next book, The Connected Child, I will be blogging about it so I can share more of what I have learned.

HONESTLY, I want all of the friends and family that come in contact with M&S and us to understand how our lives are going to be. I really want our family to understand that this is not traditional parenting. I want them all to be prepared when visiting and interacting with the girls. If you would like more information on these sensitive topics, please feel free to ask.





Educating Others to Help Your Child from Tapestry on Vimeo.

Sensory Processing:



Understanding Sensory Processing from Tapestry on Vimeo.



Helping a Child with Sexualized Behaviors from Tapestry on Vimeo.


Learning & Un-Learning to Parent Your Child from a Hard Place from Tapestry on Vimeo.

Our Education...

Sean and I have completed several hours of training and spent time with the M&S's therapists over the past month. We also have several books recommended to us to read to 'prepare' ourselves with the challenges that we are about to face. As most of you know, these two little lovelies come from foster care. The past couple of years they have lived with AMAZING treatment foster parents. Most of you can just imagine how troubling being removed from your home would be and what horrible things must have been done for this to happen.

I wanted to share some of the books that we have read on my blog. Please feel free to look them up if need be to get a better understanding of how our lives will be.

The first book that I read was "Building the Bonds of Attachment - Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children" by Daniel Hughes. I started this book right after we had our BIP (Best Interest Placement) meeting with CYFD. This book was recommended to us by the girls therapist. This book was quite the wake-up call to me. The book starts with the life of a little girl named Katie that lived with her birth mother and troubled birth father. It was the real life story of how this child entered the foster care system from an extremely early age. It was detailed events of horrible abuse of a child and how it affected her throughout her early life. This was shocking to me; I could not put the book down. My emotions while reading ranged from being angered, crying, smiling, and hopeful. I knew that there was a reason this book was recommend to us. Since reading the book and having various meetings, it was beneficial that I knew a little more of what we will be experiencing.

Book Description

Publication Date: August 8, 2006
Building the Bonds of Attachment is the second edition of a critically and professionally acclaimed book for social workers, therapists, and parents who strive to assist children with reactive attachment disorder. This work is a composite case study of the developmental course of one child following years of abuse and neglect. Building the Bonds of Attachment focuses on both the specialized psychotherapy and parenting that is often necessary in facilitating a child's psychological development and attachment security. It develops a model for intervention by blending attachment theory and research, trauma theory, and the general principles of parenting, and child and family therapy. This book is a practical guide for the adult—whether professional or parent—who endeavors to help such children. The second edition of this widely popular book will present the many changes in the intervention model over the past 8 years. These include many changes in both the psychotherapist's and parent's interventions. The attachment history of the adults is made more relevant. There is greater congruence between attachment theory and research and the interventions being demonstrated as well as greater reference to this theory and research.

The second book that I am almost done reading is "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook--What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing" by Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz.

This book is a collection of short real life stories of troubled children and the recollection of events from their early childhood that lead them to where they are today. The author digs more into the brain and how it functions in dealing with traumatic events. I hope to be finished with this book by the end of this week. 

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In beautifully written, fascinating accounts of experiences working with emotionally stunted and traumatized children, child psychiatrist Perry educates readers about how early-life stress and violence affects the developing brain. He offers simple yet vivid illustrations of the stress response and the brain's mechanisms with facts and images that crystallize in the mind without being too detailed or confusing. The stories exhibit compassion, understanding and hope as Perry paints detailed, humane pictures of patients who have experienced violence, sexual abuse or neglect, and Perry invites the reader on his own journey to understanding how the developing child's brain works. He learns that to facilitate recovery, the loss of control and powerlessness felt by a child during a traumatic experience must be counteracted. Recovery requires that the patient be "in charge of key aspects of the therapeutic interaction." He emphasizes that the brain of a traumatized child can be remolded with patterned, repetitive experiences in a safe environment. Most importantly, as such trauma involves the shattering of human connections, "lasting, caring connections to others" are irreplaceable in healing; medications and therapy alone cannot do the job. "Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love," Perry concludes. (Jan.) 

We have also watched a very educational video called "Trust-Based Parenting Creating Lasting Changes in Your Child's Behavior." This was a probably the best at addressing issues that we will be encountering. This DVD offers in-depth training for parents of children with trauma-based behavioral issues. The Trust-Based Relational Intervention^® (TBRI^®) is a unique intervention model created by developmental psychologists Dr. Karyn Purvis and Dr. David Cross, founders of the Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University. It is based on more than a decade of research and hands-on work with vulnerable children and their families. Dr. Purvis coined the phrase “children from hard places” to describe children who have experienced abuse, neglect, abandonment and/or trauma in early development.

Their survival behaviors can be confusing, frustrating and difficult to manage even for the most patient and loving parents. This nearly four-hour video features Dr. Purvis and Cross coaching families through real-life, problem-solving scenarios. They demonstrate proven, practical skills and strategies for applying TBRI^® Empowering, Connecting and Correcting Principles to everyday life to build a stronger parent-child connection, which leads to better behavior. Parents from around the world praise TBRI^® for giving them hope in times of crisis and lifelong solutions that can benefit the entire family.

I already have the next two books ready to dive into. These next two were given to us by the girls therapist at La Familia. "The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family" by Karyn Purvis.  I really look forward to reading this book. It was next on my list to purchase for the kindle, but the therapist gave me her hard copy. 

Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attachment, The Connected Child will help you:

• Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child
• Effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders
• Discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened

The other book that we received seems like a short read with some great ideas. It is called "I Love You Rituals" by Becky A. Bailey. This is a really sweet book and I know it will be helpful  since it was given to us by a person that really knows M&S, it will definitely be something that we will use. 

Book Description

Release date: November 21, 2000     I Love You Rituals offers more than seventy delightful rhymes and games that send the message of unconditional love and enhance children's social, emotional, and school success.Winner of a 1999 Parent's Guide Children's Media Award, these positive nursery rhymes, interactive finger plays, soothing games, and physically active can be played with children from infancy through age eight. In only minutes a day, these powerful rituals:

Prime a child's brain for learning

Help children cope with change 

Enhance attention, cooperation, and self-esteem 

Help busy families stay close

Affirm the parent-child bond that insulates children from violence, peer pressure, and drugs, and much more. 

Easy to learn and especially effective in stressful situations, I Love You Rituals gives parents, grandparents, caregivers, and teachers inspiring tools to help children thrive.

I look forward to learning and sharing all the experiences that I can!